Hope is an illusion when found firmly clutched within the arms of those who seek to carry the impossible and walk alone. Hope is lost here. Hope is abandoned here like a shipwreck ran aground in the dark of night.
Yet, fail not the Lighthouse we see in retrospect. We instead chose rather to sail forth with eyes closed and “confident” of our own perceived bearings while yet still void of surrender to a Hope that knows our future’s breath.
M. Craig Barnes once wrote, “There are so many temptations in the course of the day to be my own savior, which is always, always, a temptation to hurry in the wrong direction.”
This speaks to me. A hope that is an illusion is only masquerading as hope. A hope which is an illusion is most always an imposter which then is most always.. driven by fear. What drives me to carry the impossible before me and to walk alone?
It makes me wonder. What makes me think I can do such with such?
Whatever you might find yourself carrying this very moment, be not alone. Lay down your impossible. There is a Hope that knows not illusion from whom all things are no longer resigned to just be the impossible before us.
On the contrary, nothing is impossible with this Hope.
So we stop running in the wrong direction and instead abandon our fear like that of a ship ran not aground, but rather still, a ship that has sailed safely into harbor, within the light of this new day.
In the light of this new day.. I like that. It makes me feel not alone.
These past few weeks have been quite frankly some of the most difficult of my life. With my wife awaiting potentially devastating news in regards to her health, it has been too easy to walk by sight and not by faith.
It has been too easy to let my mind wander and go to the places which lead to what we call a paralysis from analysis.
Yet, all the while there is a Hope that awaits my surrender. A Hope beyond hope that calls me by name.
I have been waking up each morning around 3am. After little more than an hour each morning, I finally am able to walk myself back off the ledge of fear and towards that of a sound mind.
Its only when I am able to lay down my impossible to a Hope that makes all things possible that I am even able to sleep again. It makes me feel not alone.
That’s me in the picture at the end of a long hallway in the hospital my wife just spent a week in. My daughter captured this moment as I stood there and stared out the window in deep thought. At the time, I was reeling.