Do you see the whole story? The Frozen Perceptions of People


“Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.” – unknown

I never could see past that which my eyes had seen.

He is a tall man with faded tattoos on his arms.

You could see life in the wrinkles of his face. If only each wrinkle could tell a story? They probably could, if I only I would ever take the time to listen. …or get close enough to listen.

When he was 7, he was first molested by a family member. By the time he was 12, he had been regularly molested by several different family members. He would often find himself locked up in a trailer in the backyard going days without food.

This was life as he knew it. The only family he knew were the very one’s that trapped him inside a web of self doubt and meaningless purpose as they returned to him… often.


Take a moment and put yourself in his place.

How would have this made you feel? What would you have done?


From there, he began a life in search of value and self worth. He also began a life on the run constantly hustling to numb the pain he felt inside.

By the time he reached his late 40‘s, his life accomplishments were 64 felonies which added up to 19 years in prison. He had served time for theft and manufacturing meth. All to survive and all to mask the pain.

On the streets or on the run, home was always wherever he was.

In prison, he kept to himself and trusted nobody. And why not? He was the only one he could trust. Life was survival.

He knew not what love looked like or that of the feeling of being truly wanted or valued.

But he looked for it.

He does have some proud moments though. Like the time he remained clean long enough to spend time taking care of his ailing mother the last 16 days of her life.

Seeing her son like that must have gave her hope. Losing the only person of relation to him that had not taken part in the early abuse in his life must have broke his heart.

I never could see past that which my eyes had seen.

Who are these people where  shame, guilt, and anger rule the day only seemingly masked by the needle of deceit that fills the veins with a hot liquid chemical of destruction. This of course fueled by a healthy dose of theft. And why not? You have to feed the habit.

Life was(is) survival.

And yet we see it and walk away… far away. From a distance we judge. From our couches as we watch the news, we judge.

Get a job!
You’re a bum!
You’re worthless!
Stay away from me!
You’re a parasite!
What a loser!

We never could see past that which our eyes had seen.

If we could see past that which our eyes had seen, perhaps we would have seen a seven year old boy crying out for help.


Put yourself in “your” place.

How does this make you feel? How might this change your perspective?


Behind every story… there is a story. Do you see it?


Who are we to judge how someone got to be where they are? We just assume. What ignorance.

There is value in every heartbeat. It’s called life.

For some, life starts with the “you can do it” shove like that of a father to a child as they are learning to ride a bike. Sadly, too many other lives start with the “you are worthless” shove of a father to a child who never learned to love in the first place.

And so the cycle continues.

Perhaps we can help stop this.

As a friend of mine says… we may not be able to change the world, but we can change the world of one person.



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