It’s not possible to intentionally hit pause on a split-second. I learned of this Monday evening as my car, a split-second before impact, collided with another car in a head-on collision. But somehow, on this Monday night, and in my car, the pause button was hit. It was weird. It was almost like everything on the outside was happening in real time while all the while, that split-second before, was spent in slow motion on the inside.
Certainly one cannot do anything to rehearse such a response. Sometimes life-altering moments arrive on the scene with nary a trace.
Ironically, the only rehearsing happening now is that moment of impact going round and round in my head like a broken record. And what about that split-second before? How did I spend that moment?
I spent it by asking one question, “Is this it?”
It was quite odd and most definitely surreal. Even that question, spoken inside my head, was in slow motion. It was eerily so calm.
Moments later, I sat there looking out my windshield with the smell of smoke and air bags dangling before me like a dead Jack in the box. With adrenaline pumping full tilt, thats when the pain set in. It was excruciating. But my worry then was on the other car, than it was for me. Thank God the other person was ok. I remember sitting inside my car, still in shock, praying for them.
For me, honestly I am shook up. But I am blessed to be alive, even with a fractured radial head and all. It should have been much worse. Yet, that said, it does make me wonder. What if the answer to my question was yes?
Perhaps, that is something that can be rehearsed?
Tonight, I am at peace with yes, while at the same time grateful that this time, it was no. In this, I thank God for God and for Jesus in being my peace, so that I can be at peace with yes.
With this, perhaps He’s not done with me or that other person yet.
If you feel so compelled, please send your thoughts and/or prayers for the other person in that they continue to be okay. Maybe this was meant to get their attention too. No name is needed here. Just pray that they are okay.
For me, pray for a quick recovery. The pain remains pretty significant, but I start PT next week. Pray also for favor with the insurance company. As this was my only car, and it was paid for, I am nervous about the prospect of worst case scenario.
But mainly, pray that I don’t take this for granted.. this life I live. Pray that I can begin to love more, care more, serve more, give thanks more, and to appreciate every last breath more.
Maybe pray also for you, too. Would you be at peace with yes?
Live life to the fullest my friends. It goes by quick and you just never know, when your trumpet will sound.
Hug your family tight tonight. You are loved. I will say it again… YOU ARE LOVED! G